nothing wasted. the premise very sinister...ive always loved the concept of changelings. this is a strong take on the myth.
one observation i have is that i imagine in this situation Jade and the parents might exhibit just more pure terror and or rage/fear at "rumpelstiltskin" for want of a better name ...more glee from him... that the reveal could be drawn out, but that's probably just my own mind playing out the scene you painted.
the unravelling of her life as a human is an ingenius and horrible twist at the end...
Thank you so much for this comment, Nick, and for the observation. It’s a very good point, and exactly what I want to hear. I’m a new writer (of fiction, although a lifelong consumer of it!), and I want to get better at my craft, so comments like this are very much appreciated.
you're welcome Katherine. i always like feedback like this myself so i do like to make observations that immediately come to me from peoples' work. a bit nerve wracking because your don't want to offend or demotivate but usually its well received.
The beginning took a bit to hook me, but the dialogue really pulled me in. The interaction between the characters had a natural tension that kept me reading.it was portrayed real well how it is deeply unsettling when our memories slip away and only muscle memory remains
The line " until all that remains is the shadow of a feeling " i rwad that line twice.
Annieguile thanks so much for the comment. This kind of comment is EXACTLY why I'm on this platform; I've got no background in creative writing and I want to learn what works and what doesn't. I really feel that dialogue is my strong point too (which is weird because I'm so socially awkward IRL!) I got the idea from an article I read about musicians who suffer from dementia and how, even after they can't recognise faces of loved ones, they still remember how to play their instrument.
I must say you've captured that quite hauntingly Katharine. And it's not that the writing was bad, in fact it was good and you have a good grip on the pacing as well for the story. I find that socially awkward people like us tend to be good with dialogue, and who wouldn't after overthinking all possible outcomes and response in every conversation we've had lol.
Thank you! I have a bit of an obsession with sending my characters to Faerie. I think my favourite Faerie story I've written so far was my first, though: https://katharinekapodistria.substack.com/p/the-contract if you want to check it out!
this is really good!
a lot of depth but yet very concise.
nothing wasted. the premise very sinister...ive always loved the concept of changelings. this is a strong take on the myth.
one observation i have is that i imagine in this situation Jade and the parents might exhibit just more pure terror and or rage/fear at "rumpelstiltskin" for want of a better name ...more glee from him... that the reveal could be drawn out, but that's probably just my own mind playing out the scene you painted.
the unravelling of her life as a human is an ingenius and horrible twist at the end...
big round of applause from me! 😎
Thank you so much for this comment, Nick, and for the observation. It’s a very good point, and exactly what I want to hear. I’m a new writer (of fiction, although a lifelong consumer of it!), and I want to get better at my craft, so comments like this are very much appreciated.
you're welcome Katherine. i always like feedback like this myself so i do like to make observations that immediately come to me from peoples' work. a bit nerve wracking because your don't want to offend or demotivate but usually its well received.
It's dark but excellent. I loved the dialogue; I could picture every detail of the setting. Thank you for this Friday's story, Katharine!!
Thank you for always being here for me, my friend!
The beginning took a bit to hook me, but the dialogue really pulled me in. The interaction between the characters had a natural tension that kept me reading.it was portrayed real well how it is deeply unsettling when our memories slip away and only muscle memory remains
The line " until all that remains is the shadow of a feeling " i rwad that line twice.
Annieguile thanks so much for the comment. This kind of comment is EXACTLY why I'm on this platform; I've got no background in creative writing and I want to learn what works and what doesn't. I really feel that dialogue is my strong point too (which is weird because I'm so socially awkward IRL!) I got the idea from an article I read about musicians who suffer from dementia and how, even after they can't recognise faces of loved ones, they still remember how to play their instrument.
I must say you've captured that quite hauntingly Katharine. And it's not that the writing was bad, in fact it was good and you have a good grip on the pacing as well for the story. I find that socially awkward people like us tend to be good with dialogue, and who wouldn't after overthinking all possible outcomes and response in every conversation we've had lol.
That's spot on. I'm definitely not a good listener, so it's all down to the overthinking!
Thank you! I have a bit of an obsession with sending my characters to Faerie. I think my favourite Faerie story I've written so far was my first, though: https://katharinekapodistria.substack.com/p/the-contract if you want to check it out!