Page Break: Six months of fiction

A non-fiction interlude

ATTENTION! This is a non-fiction disruption!

I felt compelled to mark my six-month-versary somehow. The result is a rather rambling post in which I rehash the past, shout out a ton of Substackers in a link-fest that will make you go cross-eyed, and share my current writing projects and reading stack.

Fiction will return in the next edition of ‘Notes from the Edge’!

(Never begin with) Backstory

A decade ago, I was at the lowest point of my life thus far. Back then, I thought about dying all the time, or at least ceasing to be. I even bought the stuff. I knew I was very, very sick, but I didn’t have the money to get professional help, and God forbid I would ever admit to any of my friends and family (who would have rallied around me in a heartbeat) that I had a problem. I was working three jobs (one full-time and two on the side), had one kid at pre-school and a baby with reflux (= endless crying and zero sleep) and NO ONE would hold her even for a second, unless I was paying them to do it. And pay I did, because 2015 was the year that I received a letter saying my application for a funded nursery place for my baby had been rejected despite (and here’s the kicker) being classed as living below the poverty line.

That letter broke my heart because I knew I’d done that to myself and my family. I’m smart and qualified and I’d had opportunities, but due to a combination of bad luck, bad choices and a shitty economy, I was having to work far more than full time just to stay afloat. All I’d ever wanted was to stay home with my kids when they were small so that we could explore the world together, but here I was struggling to find the cash so that I could pay someone else to look after my baby. I was drowning and I felt like everyone wanted a piece of me. I was miserable, lonely, guilt-ridden and so, so tired.¹

Words as medicine

In 2017, I started writing blog entries that nobody read, but that didn’t matter. I wasn’t sure I wanted anyone to read them anyway - they were painful and personal, and all my life I’ve been a pretty private person. But there was catharsis in that writing, and self-discovery too. My blog went through a few iterations, and I went through at least as many in my own life: I recovered from depression, battled anxiety, had another baby, got a new boss (and several pay rises), quit my side jobs and learned a lot of new things. I eventually started a Substack in October 2023 where I began to post every fortnight about my experience of ‘liminal living’ on the edge of Athens. I had 13 subscribers but, as always, it wasn’t about that for me. I never aspired to write the kind of content that garnered attention and podcast invites and book deals. I just wanted to make something that was mine.

Then, the following October (2024), while proofreading a book for work, I came across the vocabulary item ‘short story magazines’. Really? I thought. Do they still have those? So I looked it up, and sure enough, they did, although mostly in digital format. Short stories, I thought. … Could I write one of those?

The site I checked was a list of magazines. I clicked on one and read the prompt (talking in tongues) and the keyword which had to be included (thorn), the word limit and the submission guidelines. And then I wrote a story. On 22/10/24 I submitted that story to Elegant Literature magazine. (To my great surprise, it actually got an Honourable Mention and I got $20 for it!)

But I couldn’t stop writing after just one story. Ideas were exploding in my head like fireworks on New Year’s Eve. I had no idea what I was doing. I’ve been an avid reader since I learnt how, although I hadn’t read much short-story-form fiction before (except The Yellow Wallpaper at school, which haunts me to this day). But that’s the great thing about the internet, right? You don’t need anyone’s permission or approval to hit ‘Publish’. So, on 15th November, that’s what I did.

Photo credit: Suzy Hazelwood at pexels.com

In a recent Note, S.E. Reid wrote: “In my high school-era stories and beyond I played with death and murder, emotional and traumatic situations, use of substances and sexual encounters that I had no actual reference for…these were exercises I played out in my stories so that I didn’t have to engage in them for real and take dangerous risks.” For me, writing fiction at 40 is the opposite - I’m processing all those life experiences (minus the murder, obviously!)

In fact, I’d go so far as to say I wouldn’t have been able to write the stories I’m writing now 20 years ago. There is imagination, of course (which is how I can write about murder!), but writing is a combination of both lived experience and what your brain can conjour up. The most important thing for me is the well of emotion that I draw on when I write. People say “Write what you know” but I think that maxim should actually be, “Write what you know how to feel.”

Emotions are currency, and they are exchanged between writer and reader. Writing stories is a bit like personal blogging in that sense: if you draw on your own pain, it pulls out a little of the poison from inside you, but if you draw on your own joy, it magnifies it.

The stories so far

It’s six months since I submitted that first short story. Half a year. I’ve hit ‘Publish’ on 13 short stories since then, and 15 chapters of my novel, sent six stories to magazines (for which I received two rejections, two honourable mentions, and two acceptances), submitted to Top in Fiction three times and received two medallions, and won the First Round (Fantasy) of the Lunar Awards 2025 (which means my story will appear in a printed anthology in 2026 - exciting!) I’ve also just submitted entries to the Raconteur Press Goblin Souk anthology, the Baen Fantasy Adventure Award (both of which I hold out zero hope for, but had immense fun writing) and another to a cosy fantasy competition. The latter two were both set in the same world I created for Shoot the Messenger (which comes out TODAY in the Bards & Bargains issue of Indie Bites magazine!)

What I’ve learnt

This isn’t about ‘writing tips’ or about that fact that, six months ago, I didn’t know what ARC stood for and I’d never heard the word ‘pantser’. Although I’ve learnt a lot of stuff like that. I see the occasional note or post along the lines of “If you aren’t a great writer, don’t write,” but on the whole, I’ve found Substack to be a really supportive place for a newbie to hang out.

I still have A LOT to learn. I’m in awe of other people’s phenomenal writing (see David Knowles [non-fiction] who makes magic out of words) and their fantastically creative ideas (Andy Futuro who thinks way outside the box.) I’ve discovered these people through Substack, and what’s more, I’ve discovered a whole community who raise each other up. They read each other’s stuff, leave thoughtful comments, and restack. And it’s not cliquey or exclusive - if you write and read and engage, people will often engage with you. Some champion encouragers I’d like to mention are: E.K. MacPherson (who, worryingly, I haven’t been able to tag or contact for some time - I hope she’s OK), Leanne Shawler, Liz Zimmers, Lyndsey Resnick, Ashley T.J., Garen Marie, S.E. Reid who, in addition to being a fantastic writer, also publishes Talebones Tuesdays which celebrates other authors too, Daniel W. Davison, the creative powerhouse that is Winston Malone, Hanna Delaney (fellow user of British English!), Erica Drayton who came up with the Top in Fiction concept (and the TiF Team of course), Silvia de Negrobosco who wrote a lovely article about my stories for The Literary Salon’s Champions series, and The Dread Legacies, who took the time to go through the first chapter of my novel and suggest edits; you will always be the reason I know the difference between an axe haft and a spear shaft!

These people have it right: if we read something we like, we should let the writer know. It’s not about inflating their ego - it’s about telling them that, yes, the time and effort they poured into their art, and that little piece of their soul they bared, had an effect on us. New subscribers are nice, but red hearts, comments and restacks are where it’s at.

What I’m working on now

• Serialising my YA Fantasy Fiction novel Underworld on Substack (and spotting ALL the glaring mistakes right after each chapter goes live).

• Working sporadically on folklore-inspired short stories and micro fiction. (At the moment it’s a story about Nyx, the Greek goddess of night.)

• Finalising a piece of short-story horror fiction for the TiF Friday 13th challenge, Eye See You.

• Worrying about what I’ve written for Garen Marie’s Small & Scary / Big & Beastly challenge. I’m in such cool company!

• Psyching myself up to try my hand at self-publishing with a little collection of faerie stories entitled Disenchanted: Five cautionary tales concerning the folk of Faerie. Being about as un-tech-savvy as one can be, I anticipate this to be a steep learning curve, but hopefully at the end, I’ll have something small that I can be proud of!

What I’ve read

I knew when I joined Substack that I couldn’t commit to paid subscriptions. That’s why I promised myself I wouldn’t become a paid subscriber to any Substack, no matter how tempting (and there is a lot of temptation!) Luckily, there is a load of fantastic fiction available for free, and I CAN support Substack writers by buying their ebooks! So far, I’ve read the following and thoroughly enjoyed every one. You guys are a talented bunch!

Juniper Falls by Nikolas Allen

Josephine Wins Again by Andy Futuro

Well Water and Other Odd Tales by Lyndsey Resnick

Transference by Ian Patterson

Importantly, I’ve rated and reviewed every one (under a pseudonym). I’ve got a few more (OK - a lot more) in the virtual TBR pile including: Rune’s Folly by Garen Marie, Mars in Retrograde by James Worth, and the anthologies The Midnight Vault and Take Me There. Any further recommendations (your own or others’ work), drop me a comment below! I’m also hoping to get into some serials when my IRL work calms down (haha) e.g. ISLA, which I’m planning to read with my Percy-Jackson-obsessed daughter, and The Môrdreigiau Chronicles, which I’ve already started and am loving.

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If you read (or skipped) to the end, THANK YOU for being here. This community means a lot to me, cross my heart. Happy, happy reading/writing to all.

1. There’s a lot of missing context to this tale (e.g. being a fairly fresh immigrant to a non-English-speaking country and all that entails, miscarriage, sleep deprivation, a nasty-ass manager, caring for elderly relatives, and financially supporting five adults who should have been supporting me, at least emotionally), but this isn’t a pity-party; it’s a celebration of getting through those tough years. That which does not kill us makes us stronger, right?